I'm Half The Man I Use To Be
by The Knowledge Zombie
Summary: Aoshi and Misao are still dealing with problems even almost a year after the death of the original Oniwaban. With no one to confide in can they look to each other, or just deal with the demons that goes along with being alone? Read and review please!
1. A Year Passed

**Okay so this my third Rurouni Kenshin Story. I have two others involving Saito and Shishio, so I will be going back and forth between the 3 so I won't get to bored with any of them and that way new ideas can keep flowing (hopefully.) **

**I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of the characters. I write for entertainment and enjoyment. All rights reversed for the creators.**

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There he was walking down the cornerstone path, in the early hours of the morning, when the sun was barely peaking through the clouds and over the tops of the trees. The birds had just started there morning songs and the wind was tossing the autumn leaves across the cornerstones. And there she was sitting on the ledge of her window sill watching him walk off, like he did every morning, rain or shine. She would always sit there and watching with a small amount of hope he would turn around and acknowledge her. But, she knew Aoshi better than anyone, and she knew he would never turn around to give her any sort of look.

Misao rose from the window ledge and made her way downstairs, quietly, into the kitchen and began to prepare breakfast for everyone in the Oniwaban group. It had become a morning ritual ever since she returned to her dear Oniwaban group in Kyoto. She just never expected Aoshi to be in the state he was in. This also become part of her morning ritual, to reflect on Aoshi and the Oniwaban group that was no longer with them. Aoshi and Misao had taken it the hardest, but yet neither could confine in others or even each other to get past the pain they felt. They were both to proud and stubborn to do any such thing.

Okina, and the others came down to eat there morning breakfast as usual. Misao, though, was in her own world on that particular day, and as Okina was about to ask her what the problem may have been, she walked out of the kitchen with the tray of tea. Okina sighed deeply and look to the others, they shrugged and kept eating. He was worried about his little Misao, he knew that lately she had been thinking a lot more than usual. Especially because Aoshi's birthday was just a few days away and they both have never celebrated that day without the original Oniwaban group.

Misao walked carelessly down the cornerstone path as others were dodging her and yelling at her to pay attention, she took no notice of them and walked up to the temple of her Aoshi. The tray with tea was still in harmony, nothing had spilled even with her being careless. When she passed the red flowers with black centers, she thought of Hannya, the man who taught her Kenpo. Which also made her start thinking of the others Shikijou, Hyottoko and Beshimi. Misao kept walking up the stone stairs to the temple, her thoughts on the fallen Oniwaban. When she reached the temple door, she placed the tray down and wiped her eyes, she didn't realize the moisture that had brewed on the rims of her eyes until they ran down her red cheeks. Once she was finished cleaning her face, she picked up the tray and put on the biggest happy face she could, walking into the temple.

Aoshi didn't move, that was usual for him and Misao placed the tea on side of him and poured the tea into the two cups with that fake smile on her face. Aoshi didn't open his eyes and picked up the cup of tea and sipped in carefully, not to burn himself. He placed it back down after he finished it and opened his eyes slowly, to readjust to the mid-morning light. Slowly he turned to Misao who still had the fake smile on her face. She placed her cup and his back on the tray, got up with the tray in hand and bowed making her way out of the temple.

Aoshi knew there was something deeply wrong with Misao, the fake smile of hers didn't fool him a bit, after all he was the one who raised her all those years. He would ask her, but it felt weird to pry into her life, if she wanted to talk she would. He sighed deeply, retook in a deep cool breath from the air and began to meditate again. Even through his meditation, her fake smile haunted him and would address the issue later at dinner if he could figure out what to say to her.


	2. Coming To Terms

**Here is the continuation of the story. I am trying to do this story and 2 others plus school and work so, I when I update them I will try to make them a long chapter. Read and review and I hope you Enjoy. -- I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or the characters simply and purely for entertainment purposes.**

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The rest of the day for Misao and Aoshi passed uneventful. Aoshi did what he always did, meditate. Misao did her daily chores, not disturbing anyone, which was unusual, even for her. Everyone in the house hold took notice of this also, but didn't say anything to her, not knowing how she would react. As the sun began to set, Aoshi started to open his eyes. His gaze was fixed upon the setting sun nothing had come to mind on how he would ask Misao what was wrong. Sighing deeply, he got up from his mediation position and departed the temple for his home.

Misao had dinner ready by the time Aoshi arrived, since it was her night to cook, she always had dinner ready before he got in from the temple. Everyone sat down at their usually spot and Misao placed all the food on the table. Aoshi and the others thanked her for the meal and they all began to eat. There was uncomfortable silence between them all, especially between Aoshi and Misao. Misao kept her head down towards her food and ate slowly. Aoshi on the other hand had already cleared a plate, but kept his gaze on Misao. He wanted to confront her so badly, but not in front of the others.

The others cleared the table after everyone had eventually finished their meals, and left Misao and Aoshi by themselves. Misao avoided Aoshi's gaze and started to rise from the floor. "Sit back down Misao," Aoshi said without opening his eyes. She did what he commanded and Aoshi poured tea for them, which he managed to make while everyone else was cleaning up after dinner. He placed a cup in front of her and himself. Misao simply started at the steam rising off the top of the cup and Aoshi, carefully sipped his.

"What is bothering…you" He said in a low voice, wondering if he spoke loud enough for her to hear. "Nothing" She said quickly, her voiced cracked for a second "I am just feeling under the weather lately." Aoshi raised his glare to her, but yet she would not look back. "Misao" he said firmly this time, in a brotherly kind of way. She clenched her teeth and got up. "I'm fine, just leave me alone, you've been good enough abandoning me, so this shouldn't matter" Aoshi was thrown off by her words and couldn't respond fast enough as Misao hurriedly made her way out of the room. He sighed staring at the cooled off cups of tea, remembering.

*Flashback*

"She's no longer a child that she most definitely isn't" Kenshin says while watching Aoshi make crane origami for Ayama and Suzume. Aoshi turns his glare to Kenshin wanting to ask questions on how to procecced with his feelings, but leaves it alone and just returns his gaze to the origami.

*End Flashback*

Aoshi snapped out of his flashback and realized he had been sitting there for a long while. He began to clean up the tea that was left over and went outside to dump the rest. Unfortunately for Aoshi, Okina was waiting outside for him, like the old man had become psychic and knew what was going to happen between him and Misao. Aoshi dumps the tea near the bushes and began rinsing the cups in the pale near the well. Okine watches him like a hawk waiting to strike.

"You know Aoshi, she does care about you but rather not trouble you with her worries." Okina began and Aoshi set aside the tea cups and looked up at him. "I worry regardless of her, I always have"

"But why worry about her now? She is 17 and not a _child_ anymore Aoshi. You were asked to protect her until she was able to care for herself, she is more than self efficient in doing so, don't you think?" Okina said trying to see if he figure out if Aoshi did care for Misao more than he let on.

Aoshi simply shrugged "It is a force of habit, 11 years of caring for her, one can simply not stop caring for her, especially when I was asked to look after her by our former leader." Aoshi gave nothing away, Okina sighed, trying to think of what else he could say, but Aoshi quickly changed subjects.

"I need a favor Okina" Okina turned his gaze to Aoshi and nodded "What can I do for you?"

"I need a train ticket to Tokyo, possibly for the morning" Okina gave a slightly confused look. "For what exactly?" – "Doesn't matter I just need the ticket and keep it between us" Aoshi said and continued "Keep this between us also, I don't want the others to be aware of me being gone. Tell them… I am meditating in the woods for about a week"

Aoshi began to walk back inside the Aoyia "And what of Misao? Tell her the same?" Aoshi stopped "I said just between you and me," he said walking inside. Aoshi made his way into his room and began packing quickly. Okina had sent away for the train ticket and received it within an hour. Aoshi came down the stairs just as the carrier pigeon had returned with the ticket. Okina handed the ticket but didn't let go when Aoshi grasped it.

"Are you coming back as the Aoshi we know?" Okina asked worried that Aoshi's demon had reawakened for Kenshin's blood. Aoshi pulled the ticket out of Okina's hand and walked out the door. "I'll be back in a week" He closed the door to the Aoyia and began his trip to Tokyo.


	3. The First of Seven

His trip to Tokyo was not long, thankfully the new trains made it possible to reach the city in under a day and for that he was thankful. Aoshi walked under the blooming flowers of the trees and next to the subtle creek that ran next to the walk path, on his way to the Battousai and Kaoru's place. He finally came to the dojo, it hadn't changed from when he last visited, to come pick up Misao, he knocked on the door and after a few minutes it opened with the red headed man he knew as the Battousai "Aoshi, what a nice surprise." Kenshin said with a sort of surprised look on his face. "Please come in" He said stepping aside, and Aoshi walked in. "So, Aoshi, what can I help you with?" Kenshin said trying to figure out why he was there, not that he didn't mind Aoshi, but it was strange considering none of the Oniwaban was with him or even Misao.

"I came here because I have some questions to which I need answering, Battousai. Questions I cannot ask anyone in Kyoto and we have talked slightly about this before" Kenshin still slightly confused, only nodded. "I will try my best to answer the questions, that I will. Would you like tea?" Aoshi only nodded and Kenshin lead them both to where they previously had tea over a year ago. Kenshin excused himself as he went out to the shed to fetch the tea set, that's when Kaoru stopped him. "Kenshin!" He looked over and gave an innocent smile "Oh, hi Ms. Kauro" She watched him for a second, "What are you doing, Kenshin? We have chores to do!" She said and the same smile stayed on his face "I know Ms. Kauro, but Aoshi is here and I don't want to be rude, that I don't. I will continue after" He said as he disappeared into the shed, "Aoshi?" Kaoru question and wondered what he could be doing here. Kenshin walked out with a box and headed back into the place where Aoshi was waiting for him. "Sorry I took so long, Ms. Kaoru stopped me for a moment." He said kneeling and taking out the appropriate items from the box, from which Aoshi took the necessary items and made the tea. After some time, the tea was made and both he and Kenshin enjoyed it. "Still as good as the first time we had tea together" He said taking another sip, while Aoshi was silent. "So Aoshi, what did you want to ask me?" Kenshin said curiously, Aoshi stared at his tea for a few minutes and then finally looked at him.

"I will ask you 7 questions, Battousai, one for each day that I am here, one question a day, so that way I have time to process it and understand it." Kenshin nodded, he knew Aoshi was still having trouble with his soul, especially since it was now over a year ago that his comrades were killed. He understood Aoshi's pain, but never sought to ask him about it, like him things of such pain should stay locked way. "Alright Aoshi, one question a day" Aoshi placed the cup in front of him and thought carefully what his first question should be and after some time had once again passed he spoke softly "What do you do with your feelings?" Kenshin sat there for a second, he was starting to realize what this was about. "My feelings?" Aoshi nodded "Your feelings, Battousai, beyond helping the weak, the everyday ones you have here in this dojo. You know I am not one to show them easily, and I am sure for a time you were the same. So what do you do?" Kenshin knew there was another meaning to the question asked, but Aoshi was gonna play a game it seemed, at least for a couple days.

"Hmm," Kenshin rubbed his chin and looked up at the ceiling trying to place the words properly in his head so he could say them. "I guess, I just go with it, after a while you tend not to notice and well you just do what your heart tells you, but that's just me. Before I came here it was hard, Aoshi, I didn't know what to feel, but then I met Ms. Kaoru, Yahiko, Ms. Megumi, Sano and everyone else and my feelings changed. The people here changed me, and I just went along with it because I wanted to change as well. In a way I wanted to care for people everyday rather than just on my road of travels, having a constant has kept me stable in my life, has given me something to live for, that it does." Kenshin said looking at Aoshi's face was stoic in this notion, Kenshin then closed his eyes and smiled. "I hope this answers the question, Aoshi." And all Aoshi could do was nod "Yes, that will due, Battousai" Kenshin then looked outside and saw the sun was just about set, "Goodness, it is getting late, we should get you a room to sleep in for the next few days, that we should." Kenshin said, while getting up and Aoshi did the same "I will clean this up, Aoshi, please come this way." They both walked out into the hall and saw Kaoru and Kenshin gave a small smile. "Ms. Kaoru, I hope you don't mind Aoshi staying with us for about a week? Me and him just have some things to discuss that's all" Kaoru looked at Aoshi and nodded "Of course, you can stay as long as you want, Aoshi." He gave a slight bow, "I've prepared a room for you this way." She said and led them both to Aoshi's room, she opened the door and Aoshi stepped in "Thank you for your kindness." She gave a smile and Kenshin smiled "If you need anything Aoshi, please let me know" Aoshi nodded and Kenshin slid the door closed. Aoshi sighed and sat against the wall, staring at the one flame that lit up the room. He had a lot to think about. '_having a constant has kept me stable in my life, has given me something to live for'_ those words kept encircling Aoshi's mind for the rest of the night until he fell asleep.


End file.
